


Even if I tell you, nothing is going to change

by Spookyinvasion



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Haruki deserved better, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Manga spoilers chapter 20 & 21, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookyinvasion/pseuds/Spookyinvasion
Summary: Snip, snip, snip.That was the only sound could be heard besides Haruki’s sniffling.Snip, snip, snip.Honestly, Haruki couldn’t believe that he was doing this. That he was cutting his long locks off...but then again, is it all that surprising considering what his hair represented? He was essentially cutting his love for Kaji off.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki, Nakayama Haruki & Yatake Kouji
Comments: 10
Kudos: 111





	Even if I tell you, nothing is going to change

**Snip, snip, snip.**

That was the only sound could be heard besides Haruki’s sniffling.

**Snip, snip, snip.**

Honestly, Haruki couldn’t believe that he was doing this. That he was cutting his long locks off...but then again, is it all that surprising considering what his hair represented? He was essentially cutting his love for Kaji off.

Ha...that made it sound like such a burden.

**Snip, snip, snip.**

Even though, at the end of the day, he was the one being a burden to Taka-chan. Sweet Taka-chan, who was always there for him, always giving him opportunities, always doing favours for him. Just like now. He could have gone to the hairdressers. But instead, here he was, trying to not have a complete meltdown in front of his close friend as he cut his hair. He knew that if he tried to tell Taka-chan what happened he would never let him play with Kaji or the rest of the band again. So all he could do was curl up in a ball as he continued to let Taka-chan free him from this ‘curse’.

**Snip, snip, snip.**

_”You, even though you like me, you’re running away?“_

The bass player had never heard Kaji sound so furious, even if it was hidden under a facade of calmness as he pinned Haruki to the couch, his wrist still aching from where Kaji roughly grabbed in his attempt to get away, get away from his previous conversation.

Haruki was frozen in fear when Kaji began to get even closer to his face. He normally would have been flustered, secretly happy that Kaji was getting so close to him, as if he was going to kiss him. But that situation was terrifying, it was as if Haruki was a helpless prey and was about to get hunted by Kaji. As if he was going to be eaten alive.

**Snip, snip, snip.**

_”Hey Haruki, you speak of an ex-girlfriend and all but...have you ever embraced a woman like this?”_

Kaji sounded so smug about that statement as he grabbed his loose braid tightly in his hand, Haruki’s faced completely flushed as he roughly kissed him. His lip piercing dragging along Haruki’s uncomfortably, making Haruki gasp in shock. Back then he thought it was a dream, some kind of fucked up dream, because Kaji would never do this. Not sweet, gentle Kaji who was always nice to him. Always grateful that he let him join the band. Always going out to drink and smoke with.

Yet when a pierced tongue invaded his mouth that felt too real, Haruki was aware that he was in a dangerous situation.

_You can’t be serious...you can’t be serious!_

These were the words that were echoing in his mind. He didn’t want this. Not like this.

_”W-wait...s-stop! Akihiko no!”_

Haruki protested as he felt searing kisses down his neck, biting occasionally, it wasn’t gentle at all. Flinching when he felt Kaji’s hand pulling down his loose pyjama pants, Haruki attempted to push Kaji away, desperately hoping that he would come to his senses and realise how wrong this situation was. 

**Snip, snip, snip.**

__Haruki yelled in shock as Kaji roughly pulled his pants down suddenly._ _

_”N-NO-NO NO N-NO, S-stop stu-“_

He was practically begging for Kaji to stop, yet Kaji simply looked up at Haruki’s flushed but terrified face before lowering his mouth down towards his penis, as if he had little regret to what he was doing. All Haruki could do was cry out as his head hit the couch, begging for Kaji to stop. Eyes watering as he was assaulted by his long time crush. He hated this. He hated that Kaji was betraying him like this. He hated that Kaji was doing this to him. He hated that it felt even a little bit good. 

**Snip, snip, snip.**

They were both panting, gasping for air. Haruki hesitantly reaching out to grasp Kaji’s wrist. 

_”Akihiko?_ Haruki asked, trembling, scared of what Kaji could do next, was he going to hurt him, was he going to rape him? He was petrified. 

_“What is it?”_ Kaji grumbled in response, it was the first words that Kaji said to him since he accused Haruki of running away from him. 

_”Please...p-please stop...don’t make that face...please don’t make that face like your heart is breaking. What is it? tell me...please...I’ll do anything for you!”_ Haruki cried out miserably, on the verge of tears as he reached out slowly to touch Kaji’s cheek. He didn’t understand himself. Even when he was nearly raped by Kaji, somehow he was still caring about him. Why was he like this? and Kaji appeared to be just as shocked by Haruki’s gentle action as his eyes widened. 

_”Even if I tell you...nothing is going to change...I’m sorry...“_ Kaji replied, burying his head into Haruki’s chest, as if he was seeking comfort, which Haruki was not willing to give, not this time. 

**Snip, snip, snip.**

Before he knew it, Haruki was running away from Kaji, for good this time, telling him that he could stay at his house while he would go to a friend’s place, he didn’t care how late at night it was now. He just needed to get away from Kaji and his entire situation. He silently begged that Kaji would be gone in the morning, he didn’t want to see him. 

Haruki let the tears run down his cheek now, lips trembling as he walked quickly down the silent streets, he could cry now, nobody could see his heartbroken face now as he reflected on the words that Kaji said to. 

_”Even if I tell you...nothing is going to change...I’m sorry”_

Haruki hated feeling so helpless, he hated that Kaji refused his help and he hated that Kaji took advantage of him and used him for his own benefit. But he despised that even after all of that, he let Kaji stay in his house. 

Why did he have to care for him so much? Even after he committed such a terrible act against him. 

Before he knew it he was here at Taka-chan’s house getting most of his hair chopped off.

~~He wanted to cry again.~~

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I needed to write this since all I can do is write angst tbh also formatting this was a bitch I don’t know why


End file.
